Real Estate Entrepreneur or Prisoner? Career change vs. Personal purgatory and life changing tattoos

  Monday mornings, the time when you realize you have the whole week ahead of you for new opportunities and discoveries.  Or, perhaps the opposite occurs, you're rushing to get to the job that sucks quite possibly every bit of your personal strength, creativity, and optimism out of your body. By the way, your coffee spills all down the front of your shirt and all over the center console of the car- leaving nothing but a paycheck,  bitter taste in you mouth for corporate institutionalization, hefty dry cleaning and detailing bills.
  Roughly two years ago I started the process of obtaining my real estate license, I studied at night when my kiddos went to bed, I studied on the weekends and any other free moment I had between appointments, music lessons, and sporting activities.  I was so hopeful that this would be a career that I would be successful at, after all I love real estate.  I love evaluating real estate and looking at different neighborhoods to keep up with the market.  Real estate sales was a sure thing... I was going to be rich! Until I realized it wasn't.  The plan was to start slow and maintain my current jobs as a receptionist for a medical clinic, working for my husband as admin assistant in his office, juggle the kids activities, volunteer for a non-profit and do real estate on Monday's, Wednesday's and some weekends.
  I got my license on October 28th, 2015- which was a huge accomplishment for me personally.  I was very proud and inspired. Unfortunately, what I did not realize is that what was to follow was doomed  from the beginning.  I was so incredibly afraid to fail- what would my friends and family think of me.  Reality check-no human could possibly take this much on and be successful. (As a side note if your chosen career path is real estate I would highly recommend having that be your only job).
  As a result of my ambitions I nearly lost everything my marriage, all of my jobs, my personal power and confidence, my sanity.  I realized that in order to be successful, I need to be at peace with myself and happy, that is not an external process.  There may be external influences, true.  However internal happiness is really the only key to achieving your higher self.  I made the decision from April of this year to stop pursuing real estate and start pursuing personal growth and understanding.  I went to a week long intensive therapy program to help sort myself out.  I learned a lot about myself.  Part of the personal growth is understanding what your strengths are.. Sales, not a strength of mine sadly or fortunately- depends on your perspective. Also not a strength- mis-conception and forceful advertising.  The irony of the whole situation- since I have stopped trying so hard to pursue a real estate career I have people left and right asking me to assist them in their property transactions.  I smile sweetly and happily give them references to other agents.
  Some may call it a mid-life crisis- I call it a mid-life opportunity.  In the golfing community they may call it a Mulligan or do over.  I am still wrestling with internal peace and happiness however, I feel I am much closer now.  My husband I and I have had many years of botched and non-existent communications.  Now, I say exactly what I feel regardless of whether it hurts or not and he tells me what is on his mind. Life is too short to keep things bottled up inside.  I have stopped working for his office, which was a transition for all of us as I was responsible for all vendor communications and office expenditures.  I took the Monday's that I had off from my regular job for myself to focus on self care and exploration of interests. I pick the kids up right after school these days and spend time helping with homework and sometimes we cook together.  Every Wednesday I volunteer for Habitat for Humanity because it is an organization that I believe in and feel a connection with.  I feel better about helping others than I ever did trying to start up in real estate.  I covered the scars I have had from many surgeries over the last 20 years with beautiful flower tattoos and love looking at my thighs now (Thanks Jeff!).  I joined a Pin Up group and love spending girl time with my new friends and dressing up for the charity events that we assist with. I am only doing things that make me happy now.  Making connections with new people is one of my favorite activities.  Focusing on present activities or being in the moment.  Relishing every feeling that may be presenting itself to me. Fear, pain, happiness, compassion, connectivity, synchronicity, beauty.
  I will never stop looking for the perfect career opportunity and I may try new things to test the waters, however, I will always analyze any new career option with a different perspective.  Not according to monetary gain or career advancement.  I will evaluate each new option according to how it feels, and how it will enrich my own personal growth in life.  Will it expand my horizons?  Will it allow for inner peace?  Does it make me feel good?
  Life does not have to be manufactured according to societal norms. Take the time to know yourself. Life will follow.

Thank you for visiting my blog- feel free to leave any comments.  I look forward to hearing from you.

Cheers,

Shannon